We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
