You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize