My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
