Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
