its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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