Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
