Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
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In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
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I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
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