**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
