I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
