I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
