guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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