I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
