She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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