I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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