JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
