Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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