There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
