It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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