This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
