Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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