and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
