i just wanna soil my oats bro
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
