you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
