I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Will you blow on my dice?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
