so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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