I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
