i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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