Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
