ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
17 year olds will be the death of me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
