she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
