I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
