3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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