Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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