He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
