YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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