K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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