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She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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