just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
