I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
