we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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