I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
