I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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