Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
