Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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