suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
