whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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