"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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