D3 body, D1 cock
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
