Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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