And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
