So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
