I cockslap morals
I hope mine doesn't look like that
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
