That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
