I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
