I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
