Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
