I'm sorry my penis didn't work
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
