Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We need to rekindle our bromance
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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