If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
