Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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