Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
