i don't plan on having that self control this summer
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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