That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
