i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
