a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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