Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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