as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
