I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
