Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  just do him I won't tell jon

  (1-269): View more from Michigan

  um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore

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  (269): just do him I won't tell jon (1-269): um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore http://tfl.nu/l9xs
  Replies (7) Good night (957) Bad night (2614)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  He disabled his match.com account in front of me

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  (917): He disabled his match.com account in front of me http://tfl.nu/yzdn
  Replies (7) Good night (1550) Bad night (646)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.

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  (419): take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball. http://tfl.nu/c4b7
  Replies (11) Good night (1888) Bad night (693)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?

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  (978): Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am? http://tfl.nu/38zg
  Replies (26) Good night (3019) Bad night (825)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.

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  (815): just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home. http://tfl.nu/6d9n
  Replies (14) Good night (652) Bad night (6774)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  maybe i'll see you again later :)

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'd rather shit a knife.

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  (612): maybe i'll see you again later :) (774): I'd rather shit a knife. http://tfl.nu/qge0
  Replies (50) Good night (1975) Bad night (11101)
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  (858): View more from California

  I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.

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  (858): I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street. http://tfl.nu/fk7f
  Replies (35) Good night (8583) Bad night (818)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia

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  (205): Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia http://tfl.nu/0tpw
  Replies (28) Good night (6260) Bad night (1919)
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  (760): View more from California

  PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.

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  (760): PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART. http://tfl.nu/0igl
  Replies (12) Good night (2891) Bad night (825)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.

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  (205): First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined. http://tfl.nu/ei07
  Replies (4) Good night (1683) Bad night (1150)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.

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  (919): Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him. http://tfl.nu/jzxh
  Replies (2) Good night (1029) Bad night (664)
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  (909): View more from California

  I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..

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  (909): I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise.. http://tfl.nu/c4kh
  Replies (12) Good night (2251) Bad night (1079)
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  (518): View more from New York

  whiskey

  (914): View more from New York

  stop

  (518): View more from New York

  tequila

  (914): View more from New York

  you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up

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  (518): whiskey (914): stop (518): tequila (914): you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up http://tfl.nu/4nb1
  Replies (3) Good night (1807) Bad night (534)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  He used a "food city great value" card to cut it

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  (267): he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli (267): He used a "food city great value" card to cut it http://tfl.nu/fxwe
  Replies (2) Good night (405) Bad night (675)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.

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  (304): My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time. http://tfl.nu/ngqr
  Replies (2) Good night (1138) Bad night (249)

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