Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.

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(650): View more from California

I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish

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23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(804): View more from Virginia

Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?

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(613): View more from Ontario

She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.

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(619): View more from California

why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu

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(941): View more from Florida

I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.

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(509): View more from Washington

Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college

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