When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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