I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college