A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize