so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
