sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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