everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
