Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
operation harelip BJ is a go
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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